Feng Shui and Interior Redesign

QUESTION
I'm not acquainted with many concepts of Feng Shui, but from what I understand of the concepts that drive the philosophy, I believe you may find it often conflicts with standard American interior design, which is driven entirely by the architectural features of a room, the room's usage, the scale and proportion of elements in the room and the even distribution of color.

ANSWER
You may find some rooms will blend together nicely with the two philosophies and there will be others that are in conflict, so you'll have to choose which one is best for your client. If a client really insists on Feng Shui philosophy first and foremost, go that way. If not, go with American design because not everyone will relate or agree with the FS philosophy.

You'll have to play it by ear, I'm afraid.

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5 Affirmations for Interior Redesigners

1) It is I and I alone who am responsible for the values that I hold. It is I and I alone who am responsible for the decisions I make and the actions I take.

2) I trust my judgment and my abilities. I give myself permission to take calculated risks in my interior redesign business and in my life.

3) I am totally capable of achieving whatever goals I set for myself today, this week, this month and this year.

4) I am special. There is no one on earth quite like me. I am a worthy person, kind hearted and valuable.

5) Since I am totally in control of how I react to life, my thoughts, my emotions and my actions, I steadfastly am determined to direct my full being to improve my life: my work, my relationships, my health.

Redesign Self-Worth and Self-Trust

Do you believe you deserve to be happy? Do you believe you deserve to be successful? Many people just don't believe they deserve good things in life.

Case in point. The battered woman who never leaves her husband or boyfriend. Deep down she feels she deserves to be mistreated. She thinks being hit and bruised and knocked around is normal, and certainly doesn't expect life to be any different.

That belief is housed in a very poor sense of self-worth.

Do you trust yourself? Are you a positive person? Do you work hard? Are you responsible? Do you test your limits while staying in control all the time?

If you answered "no", this is an indication of a lack of "self trust". To be successful in life, you have to value yourself and you have to believe in yourself.

While all of us go through moments of self doubt, and sometimes get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, we cannot afford to undervalue ourselves and question our abilities and common sense. If we do that, we will never rise up to great heights.

Elevator Speech for Interior Redesigners

Do you have a concise elevator speech?

An elevator speech is a descriptive statement that tells anyone in a nutshell exactly what you do for a living. It should be something that you can say quickly, say in the time it takes to go from the 10th floor to the lst floor in a high rise building.

Most business people, and certainly interior redesign entrepreneurs, struggle with what to say about what they have to offer. I don't know if it's the time pressure of saying something quickly or what, but they become tongue tied and stammer out something rather useless.

To develop a good elevator speech, sit down quietly and write down your thoughts.

Try to place yourself in someone else's shoes who knows nothing about interior redesign and what it has to offer.

Eliminate all the business jargon. People don't listen to it anyway.

Create a 2-3 sentence paragraph that describes what you have to offer that would be of benefit to them.

Now boil it down to a more concise statement.

Then boil it down even further.

Try it out on a few people and then ask them what they understood you to say.

If there is a wide difference between what they "think" you said and what you "actually" said, you have more work to do.

Control Who Criticizes You

You've begun your interior redesign business. You're excited. You've got your training under your belt.

Then along comes a distant relative who makes a critical, unsupported comment about you and your business. You go into an instant slump.

Did you know it takes about 15 compliments to overcome one criticism in your life?

Why do we seem to internalize the negative comments so much deeper than the compliments we get? I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that we can control how we react to what people say.

If you find there is a person in your life who is continually bringing you down with a constant barrage of criticism, remove yourself from their presence. You must control, as best you can, the number and level of critical people who can have a negative effect on you.

Life is too short to be made miserable by people who are not supportive of you.

Self Talk for Interior Redesigners

All the while you are reading this post, you are talking to yourself. Not out loud, but your inner mind is always active and speaking to you. It's called "self talk".

Self talk can be destructive or constructive.

It can validate a fine performance or it can cause you to place blame, either on yourself, someone else or something.

Do you find yourself minimizing an achievement with statements like, "Oh, it wasn't that good" or "Well, I was really lucky . . . "? You might think you're just being humble, but perhaps that is negative self talk at work robbing you of the ability to feel a real sense of achievement.

Or perhaps when things aren't going well, do you find yourself saying, "Well, it's not me! It's them!"?

Both of these situations are destructive self talk at work. It is a pattern of making excuses, and if you don't accept responsibility for your accomplishments AND your failures, you can't change them or overcome them or accept your true value.

You've got to recognize that your self talk needs an adjustment. When you hear yourself making these kinds of excuses, note them and discard them. Each time you do, you will begin changing how you think and how you speak to yourself. Very quickly you will not only see yourself achieving at new and greater heights, but the people around you will begin to react more positively toward you too.

Dispelling Destructive Beliefs

BELIEF #1
You don't have the ability to control how you feel about something or someone. Life is filled with external forces that happen and you are merely a victim of these circumstances. So when something goes wrong, you have a right to shut down and quit.

BELIEF #2
You can't help your behaviour because it is controlled by the child in you, the child of your past. It is not really you who made that decision, but it is the little girl in you or the little boy in you who made the decision, and you are at a loss as to how to control yourself.

I know a 64 year old man who never accepts responsibility for his own actions and decisions. He lives his life going to therapy where his counselor feeds and fosters his belief that he is controlled by the "little boy" inside him who is compulsive, hurt and angry.

Consequently, when he makes a poor decision (which seems to happen quite frequently), it's never his fault. It's the fault of the "little boy". God forbid the "old man" should ever take responsibility for himself.

One cannot go through life blaming other people, most certainly the young child we used to be a long time ago. We must accept responsibility for who we are and the choices we make as adults.

As Dr. Phil says so often, "You can't change the things about yourself you're not willing to own."

As an interior redesigner, you must take responsibility for your decisions and choices. To do anything less is to be unprofessional. You do have the ability to control how you react to what life brings you, even if you don't have the ability to control what happens.

Never give up.
Accept yourself as an adult.
Take responsibility for your actions and words.

Your Own Worst Enemy

A recent house guest would have been actually very likeable were it not for the fact that she was too outspoken with her opinions, crossed over basic etiquette lines by discussing issues that were too personal and actually offensive to her hosts.

It is a classic case of becoming one's own worst enemy.

When you are at a client's home, don't enter into discussions of a personal nature with your client. Keep the conversations on business.

You want to bond with your client professionally, but you don't want to join into any conversation that includes gossip, derogative statements about relatives or members of the family - yours or theirs.

Don't become your own worst enemy. Your reputation is at stake.

Keep a Positive Attitude

Women are more prone to compare themselves with other women. It is a none fact that we tend to compete with each other on a personal level, whereas men tend to compete with other men on a task level.

So what do you see when you look in the mirror?

Do you see a redesigner who is professional looking?
Do you see a redesigner who smiles?
Do you see a redesigner who is caring and loving?
Do you see a redesigner whose hair, makeup and clothing is suitable for her body style?

While you may be unhappy with some aspects of your personal appearance, never forget that you are your own worst enemy. No one but you (or perhaps a spouse) will see you stepping out of the shower or bath.

So no one else will be judging you in the raw. Only you.

So lighten up. Give yourself a break. Work on the aspects that need work and don't worry about the ones you can't do anything about.

Getting the Courage to Speak Out

COMMENT FROM AUSTRALIA
Thought I would share something with you. After our last communication I decided to try and start believing in my knowledge and talents. Attending a dinner last night ( which I never usually do) I started talking about what I planned to do with my business. On discussing the psychology of buyers and the concept of redesign i was shocked to hear that no one knew of how it all worked and was pleased to realise that I had much more knowledge than the normal person on the subject. Quoting lots of info from what I have learnt from your courses (although I made out it was just my general knowledge) I realised that I do have the knowledge and talent to make this a bona fida business.

So feeling a little more confident and looking forward to completing the courses and 'getting on with it'

Thanks again, Jill

RESPONSE FROM USA
Ha, ha, ha. You make me laugh. Good girl. See how easy it was? Most of our fears are based on unreality, not fact. One you voice what you're learning to someone, it is yours forever. We usually retain far more than we realize, so it then surprises us when we are able to relate more than we thought we could. Proud of you.
Stay in touch.